I really wish I'd taken getting married more seriously when I was younger. I tried some romantic endeavors in my late teens and early 20s, was somewhat successful but mostly unsuccessful. Overall, I had opportunities to pursue romantic relationships and didn't take that side of life seriously because I coped that I'd find a wife once I'm financially stable and prosperous. I see now that it was all a cope to stay weak and hide from women. I'm turning 30 this year, own a house, make enough money to support a stay-at-home wife and send 3 kids to private school. My mom lives with me in this house (she's always been a leech and always will be) out here in the suburbs, and I'm scared that this is what the rest of my life will look like. I work from home, and I hate this area. I want to leave the country. My body is a mess. It's skinnyfat to the extreme. No muscle, significant fat (with big tits), on the lower end of "normal" BMI. I could go to the gym but why bother? I work really hard for long hours, and now I have to ask myself at the end of the day "why bother?". Right now, all I'm doing is supporting my mother to live her boring and self-destructive life. I'd rather be supporting a sexy woman who loves me to raise my children. Or saving up so we can go on a nice vacation together and have sex and stuff in exotic locations. I hate everything.