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Carrying keys on Shabbat Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:51:34 GMT No. 25601273 [Kohl] [Report thread]
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Since G-d ordained his chosen ones not to carry objects in public places on Shabbat (that's saturday for us goys) they have been coming up with inventive solutions to deal with a nasty problem: house keys. How to get to the synagogue without leaving the front door unlocked? First off you could lock the door and hide the key somewhere in your front yard, but only if it's fenced or surrounded by an eruv. Alternatively, and this is the smarter solution, you could wear the key like a broach, or turn it into a belt buckle. You see, if you wear the key, you're not really carrying the key. It's just jewelry, or it's the thing that keeps your pants from falling down. But you have to make sure that the key actually looks good as jewelry, or that it actually performs a function (such as keeping your pants from falling down), otherwise G-d will see through your ruse! Rabbi Chaim Hillel Raskin raises a valid point: the moment you insert the key into keyhole it potentially crosses the threshold between a public area (the street) into a private area (the house interior) which would not be kosher at all. In such cases you would have to unlock the door while wearing the key, therefore you could tell G-d that you didn't carry an object from outside but you just unlocked the door with a piece of your clothing. In any case, it's important to put the key back as your broach\belt buckle\whatever before finally entering the house. Hope you learned something Bernd, stay kosher!
Total posts: 29, files: 3 (Drowned at Mon, 10 Mar 2025 18:32:00 GMT)
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:55:38 GMT No. 25601298
Insane ngl
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:56:07 GMT No. 25601302 >>25601320 >>25602249
And these people rule the world
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:59:24 GMT No. 25601320
>>25601302 World is unfair and a fuck
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:59:25 GMT No. 25601321 >>25601325 >>25601344 >>25601421
>>25601273 It's amazing that jews spend their time cheating their own god and his laws.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:59:46 GMT No. 25601325
>>25601321 Well it's their nature after all
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:00:59 GMT No. 25601334 >>25601342 >>25602269
Judaism is all about finding ways to cheat God
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:02:38 GMT No. 25601342
>>25601334 And everyone else. I bet they get money from the city for putting up that string.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:03:25 GMT No. 25601344
>>25601321 That's why they make the best lawyers
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:03:56 GMT No. 25601346
But whats the reason for not carrying object on sunday? T. Gayim
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:06:10 GMT No. 25601357 >>25601587
jew presenting the new torah.mp4
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Jews are so funny. Here is an celebration, with escort just for getting a new copy off a torah scroll.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:07:06 GMT No. 25601362
It would be super hot if this wife attaches my chastity key to her belt on sherbet that everyone knows im wearing it Damn imagine that
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:12:19 GMT No. 25601392 >>25601409
>let’s follow random rules by finding ways to cheat Smart
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:15:11 GMT No. 25601409
>>25601392 What if you just take it up the ass God doesnt know whats inside your ass Rabbi wont inspect your anus
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:15:41 GMT No. 25601413
Im not carrying the key the key just went inside me unintentionally
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:17:00 GMT No. 25601421 >>25601597
>>25601321 It's not actually cheating according to them, those are simply loopholes that were placed in scripture by god so that they could use them.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:46:29 GMT No. 25601587
Jew וועל. וועל.mp4
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>>25601357
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:47:07 GMT No. 25601592
Fuck kikes
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:48:00 GMT No. 25601597
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>>25601421 >G-d wants us to cheat Fascinating, tell me more.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:48:07 GMT No. 25601599 >>25601606 >>25602107
Anyone seen the chicken and cow abuse videos kek They "humanely" slit open cows and transfer sins to chickens before killing them
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:48:51 GMT No. 25601606
>>25601599 Whut.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:50:07 GMT No. 25601611 >>25601626
those whacky jews and their retarded rules a bit like papists
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:51:51 GMT No. 25601626
>>25601611 They make their wives work while they so called study the torah. Pretty based
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 15:17:05 GMT No. 25601824
It is obvious that this pathologically deceptive culture degrades humanity through such psychological evil it has adopted myriad techniques to deceive the creator of the universe, and that fundamental duplicity so liberally applied to their god is exponentially worse inflicted on all humanity. As a result of their scheming, lying larceny, the human species is disrupted and degraded on a global scale. The single most valuable enterprise potential to humanity is the absolute and complete elimination of this parasitic vermin. Because of their millennia long practice of usury, deception, treachery, murder, genocide, torture, cannibalism, and in fact devising rituals of mutilating the reproductive organs of their helpless infant children and consuming the flesh and blood raw, directly from the bleeding wound without anesthetic or antiseptic, not only causing these innocent and helpless infants permanent psychological injury and harm, but transmitting pathogens from the mouth while feeding on the tortuous injuries, cast this practice as one of the most holy of the sacred rituals of their religion. No technological advance, no industrial improvement, no spiritual or noological discovery, nor any combination of invention or beneficence, that is potential to humanity will more improve the prosperity and felicity of all life, and every living person, every forebear and all our posterity, than extinguishing this parasitic plague without exception or delay.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 15:51:05 GMT No. 25602018
Shabbat, that word is Sabbath in English.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 16:06:10 GMT No. 25602107
>>25601599 Do they eat chicken?
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 16:29:07 GMT No. 25602249
>>25601302 most jews I know aren't crazy and don't do this, and actively castigate ones who do
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 16:31:34 GMT No. 25602269
>>25601334 It really seems like it. Imagine thinking God cares about your standing on one foot for him. Tell God he is retarded.
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 16:35:31 GMT No. 25602299 >>25604121
>>25601273 the ability of the jews to cheat their god is amazing
Bernd Sun, 09 Mar 2025 20:53:23 GMT No. 25604121
>>25602299 Inshallah
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