Since G-d ordained his chosen ones not to carry objects in public places on Shabbat (that's saturday for us goys) they have been coming up with inventive solutions to deal with a nasty problem: house keys.
How to get to the synagogue without leaving the front door unlocked? First off you could lock the door and hide the key somewhere in your front yard, but only if it's fenced or surrounded by an eruv.
Alternatively, and this is the smarter solution, you could wear the key like a broach, or turn it into a belt buckle.
You see, if you wear the key, you're not really carrying the key. It's just jewelry, or it's the thing that keeps your pants from falling down. But you have to make sure that the key actually looks good as jewelry, or that it actually performs a function (such as keeping your pants from falling down), otherwise G-d will see through your ruse!
Rabbi Chaim Hillel Raskin raises a valid point: the moment you insert the key into keyhole it potentially crosses the threshold between a public area (the street) into a private area (the house interior) which would not be kosher at all. In such cases you would have to unlock the door while wearing the key, therefore you could tell G-d that you didn't carry an object from outside but you just unlocked the door with a piece of your clothing. In any case, it's important to put the key back as your broach\belt buckle\whatever before finally entering the house.
Hope you learned something Bernd, stay kosher!
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:56:07 GMT
No. 25601302
>>25601320
>>25602249
And these people rule the world
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:59:24 GMT
No. 25601320
>>25601302
World is unfair and a fuck
>>25601273
It's amazing that jews spend their time cheating their own god and his laws.
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 13:59:46 GMT
No. 25601325
>>25601321
Well it's their nature after all
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:00:59 GMT
No. 25601334
>>25601342
>>25602269
Judaism is all about finding ways to cheat God
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:02:38 GMT
No. 25601342
>>25601334
And everyone else. I bet they get money from the city for putting up that string.
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:03:25 GMT
No. 25601344
>>25601321
That's why they make the best lawyers
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:03:56 GMT
No. 25601346
But whats the reason for not carrying object on sunday?
T. Gayim
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:06:10 GMT
No. 25601357
>>25601587
Jews are so funny. Here is an celebration, with escort just for getting a new copy off a torah scroll.
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:07:06 GMT
No. 25601362
It would be super hot if this wife attaches my chastity key to her belt on sherbet that everyone knows im wearing it
Damn imagine that
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:12:19 GMT
No. 25601392
>>25601409
>let’s follow random rules by finding ways to cheat
Smart
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:15:11 GMT
No. 25601409
>>25601392
What if you just take it up the ass
God doesnt know whats inside your ass
Rabbi wont inspect your anus
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:15:41 GMT
No. 25601413
Im not carrying the key the key just went inside me unintentionally
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:17:00 GMT
No. 25601421
>>25601597
>>25601321
It's not actually cheating according to them, those are simply loopholes that were placed in scripture by god so that they could use them.
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:48:00 GMT
No. 25601597
>>25601421
>G-d wants us to cheat
Fascinating, tell me more.
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:48:07 GMT
No. 25601599
>>25601606
>>25602107
Anyone seen the chicken and cow abuse videos kek
They "humanely" slit open cows and transfer sins to chickens before killing them
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:50:07 GMT
No. 25601611
>>25601626
those whacky jews and their retarded rules
a bit like papists
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 14:51:51 GMT
No. 25601626
>>25601611
They make their wives work while they so called study the torah.
Pretty based
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 15:17:05 GMT
No. 25601824
It is obvious that this pathologically deceptive culture degrades humanity through such psychological evil it has adopted myriad techniques to deceive the creator of the universe, and that fundamental duplicity so liberally applied to their god is exponentially worse inflicted on all humanity. As a result of their scheming, lying larceny, the human species is disrupted and degraded on a global scale.
The single most valuable enterprise potential to humanity is the absolute and complete elimination of this parasitic vermin. Because of their millennia long practice of usury, deception, treachery, murder, genocide, torture, cannibalism, and in fact devising rituals of mutilating the reproductive organs of their helpless infant children and consuming the flesh and blood raw, directly from the bleeding wound without anesthetic or antiseptic, not only causing these innocent and helpless infants permanent psychological injury and harm, but transmitting pathogens from the mouth while feeding on the tortuous injuries, cast this practice as one of the most holy of the sacred rituals of their religion.
No technological advance, no industrial improvement, no spiritual or noological discovery, nor any combination of invention or beneficence, that is potential to humanity will more improve the prosperity and felicity of all life, and every living person, every forebear and all our posterity, than extinguishing this parasitic plague without exception or delay.
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 15:51:05 GMT
No. 25602018
Shabbat, that word is Sabbath in English.
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 16:29:07 GMT
No. 25602249
>>25601302
most jews I know aren't crazy and don't do this, and actively castigate ones who do
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 16:31:34 GMT
No. 25602269
>>25601334
It really seems like it. Imagine thinking God cares about your standing on one foot for him. Tell God he is retarded.
Bernd
Sun, 09 Mar 2025 16:35:31 GMT
No. 25602299
>>25604121
>>25601273
the ability of the jews to cheat their god is amazing